Friday, December 25, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Growing up...
So, the hubster and I have started dipping our toes into the world of home-ownership. Now that I know my job is safe (YAY Wright School!!!), and that our income is steady, we figured it was a good time to start exploring. I filled out a loan application, on a lark, really, and we were approved for a decent amount.
Now the work begins.
We have some ideas, we have started driving around and looking. It's overwhelming! Realtor or no realtor? fixer-upper? Ranch or two story? *sigh*
Ideas? Advice? Help! :)
Now the work begins.
We have some ideas, we have started driving around and looking. It's overwhelming! Realtor or no realtor? fixer-upper? Ranch or two story? *sigh*
Ideas? Advice? Help! :)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Avoidance -- an apology
I've been a horrible friend.
More than once.
More than once in the last six months.
And I feel awful. It's been festering like a nasty boil in my soul.
What did I do? Nothing. Literally, nothing. When I should have been actively helping, calling, writing, or even flying to be physically present. I did nothing.
Two very dear friends have recently dealt with the death of close family members. And I couldn't handle it like I should have, because of my own misery and PTSD around the issue of death.
See, in 2003 my dad suddenly passed away. Yes, he'd had some health problems as a result of diabetes and a heart condition, but he was not in the hospital, and I never had to have a conversation with doctors about his imminent death -- and I never had a chance to say goodbye. I just got a phone call one Saturday morning and the rest is sort of blurry. I know there were many tears, as the news sunk in, and more as I had to share this with my brother, my grandmother, and others. This was pretty traumatic, and I still tear up even now as I write this.
About two years later I had sort of moved on, and was happily living with my now-husband. His mother struggled with severe illness for many years, and was frequently hospitalized. The news
was not looking good. I was included in many excruciating and tear-filled family conversations and doctor's consultations about end of life decisions, and was given an opportunity to say goodbye to this wonderful woman.
And then, the summer of 2009. *sigh* My husband's brother, Robert. He suffered a severe stroke while he was putting gas in his car. Unfortunately as he collapsed he hit his head, causing bleeding in his brain and making it impossible for medical personnel to give him a medicine that could have dissolved the clot in his brain that caused the stroke. He passed away surrounded by most of his family, who continue to try to stumble along as they try to adjust to life without his physical presence. And it hasn't been easy.
Each death triggers the trauma of the previous ones, and causes anxiety and fear about the potential goodbyes I will have to say someday to those I love.
So, I've been avoiding dealing with these other deaths, and the dear friends who have suffered the losses the most.
So, Dawn and Barry, I beg for your forgiveness.
I love you both very much and am so very sorry for the loss that each of you has had to experience.
I will try to be a better friend.
More than once.
More than once in the last six months.
And I feel awful. It's been festering like a nasty boil in my soul.
What did I do? Nothing. Literally, nothing. When I should have been actively helping, calling, writing, or even flying to be physically present. I did nothing.
Two very dear friends have recently dealt with the death of close family members. And I couldn't handle it like I should have, because of my own misery and PTSD around the issue of death.
See, in 2003 my dad suddenly passed away. Yes, he'd had some health problems as a result of diabetes and a heart condition, but he was not in the hospital, and I never had to have a conversation with doctors about his imminent death -- and I never had a chance to say goodbye. I just got a phone call one Saturday morning and the rest is sort of blurry. I know there were many tears, as the news sunk in, and more as I had to share this with my brother, my grandmother, and others. This was pretty traumatic, and I still tear up even now as I write this.
About two years later I had sort of moved on, and was happily living with my now-husband. His mother struggled with severe illness for many years, and was frequently hospitalized. The news
was not looking good. I was included in many excruciating and tear-filled family conversations and doctor's consultations about end of life decisions, and was given an opportunity to say goodbye to this wonderful woman.
And then, the summer of 2009. *sigh* My husband's brother, Robert. He suffered a severe stroke while he was putting gas in his car. Unfortunately as he collapsed he hit his head, causing bleeding in his brain and making it impossible for medical personnel to give him a medicine that could have dissolved the clot in his brain that caused the stroke. He passed away surrounded by most of his family, who continue to try to stumble along as they try to adjust to life without his physical presence. And it hasn't been easy.
Each death triggers the trauma of the previous ones, and causes anxiety and fear about the potential goodbyes I will have to say someday to those I love.
So, I've been avoiding dealing with these other deaths, and the dear friends who have suffered the losses the most.
So, Dawn and Barry, I beg for your forgiveness.
I love you both very much and am so very sorry for the loss that each of you has had to experience.
I will try to be a better friend.
Friday, August 21, 2009
It Starts... again
Well, folks, I'm back. Did ya miss me?
Chances are good that you may not have realized I was gone, at least as the blog world is concerned. Yahoo started being poopy, and so I decided to start a NEW blog. A BETTER blog. And, here it is.
How is it better? I dunno.
But it will be.
Chances are good that you may not have realized I was gone, at least as the blog world is concerned. Yahoo started being poopy, and so I decided to start a NEW blog. A BETTER blog. And, here it is.
How is it better? I dunno.
But it will be.
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