SIDELINED!

Man, this sucks!

I usually run three days a week, with 2 or three other days of the week for cross-training.  Tuesdays I run 3 miles, and have been trying to do some work with intervals to increase the intensity of the run, and improve my speed and strength.  Thursdays I run 4 miles, on a different route, and Saturdays (or sometimes Sundays) I do my long run.  My last long run was 11.5 miles, increasing .5 miles each week to build up to my Half-Marathon.  Was. As in, previous.  As in, had been running, but not now.

*SIGH*

Last Thursday, March 8th, is a day that will live in infamy.  But it goes a lot farther back than that, and has to do with a lot of things that have been stressing me out.  So, let me go back a little more...

Work has been stressful.  I have a very difficult job to do, and though I love it, it weighs heavily on me at times.  I've been struggling for weeks with feeling hopeless and unmotivated, feeling unsupported yet not sure what would help me.  Needless to say, my morale was shot, and mood was crap. I kept thinking about work, even at night when I tried to sleep, wanting to be better, but not sure how.  I often couldn't sleep, and it was taking its toll on me.  I was cranky and short-tempered most of the time, and my professionalism was on the verge of disappearing.  I tried taking Ambien and it helped, but I didn't want to end up relying on pills to get to sleep each night, so I didn't always take it, convinced that I will just get to sleep on my own.  It wasn't a good cycle to be in, needless to say.

I had a meeting with my supervisor last week, and it was eye-opening in many ways, and gave me a lot of things to think about, and I believe things will be changing.  They have been changing internally, for me, and I tried putting an intentional focus on the positive into my work.  I felt great.  I even wrote the word "JOY" on my inside wrist to be a constant reminder. :)

But sleep was still a struggle.

Which brings me to Thursday morning.  I didn't sleep well (surprise!) Wednesday night, but still felt like I needed to run.  It's so therapeutic for me, an excellent stress reliever.  So I headed out to do my four miles.  I left my driveway, started jogging, and went through my usual path along the side of the road (we don't have sidewalks).  I ran up by the local elementary school, and around the corner, where they have recently re-paved parts of the road, and re-painted the lines.  I run on the left, facing traffic of course, and when there are no cars coming I hop up on the line, since the side of the road is bumpy and not paved.  Well, at about 1.4 miles by my Garmin's measurement I put my foot on the line, but the line was half off the pavement. So my left foot went half off the pavement too, and rolled. I caught myself before I fell, but not before I heard/felt a "pop".  Strangely enough, though, I didn't really feel a lot of pain.

The smart part of my brain kicked in and said "You really shouldn't keep going.  You don't want to be farther from home and have it start hurting more, do you?"  And luckily I listened to the genius in my head, and turned around, heading for home.  Since it didn't really hurt much, I did more of a jog than a walk, trying to get home quickly.  I had forgotten to turn the Garmin off, but when I did, it turns out, even though I tripped, I managed a 12 min/mile pace! :) go me!

Long story short, it's sprained.  I went to Urgent Care, and they x-rayed me, sent me home with my ankle wrap and a note telling me I couldn't go to work, and that if it still hurt or got worse, to go to an orthopedist.  So I did.  Monday it wasn't better, and so I went and talked to an orthopedist, who told me that it was a sprain, but because it has been damaged before (more than once! I'll save that story for another post), the ligaments were weak and it was taking longer to recover.  Ugh.  No work for a week, and an order for Physical Therapy.  Oh, and  worst of all: NO RUNNING FOR 3 TO 4 WEEKS!!

AAAAaaaaahhhhhhh! I have a half-marathon THIS WEEKEND, and I can't go.  It cost me $80!  I'm sidelined from training for my MAIN half-marathon in about 6 weeks! *sigh*  SIDELINED. Ugh.

But I've been cleared for cardio on the elliptical and stationary bike to keep my endurance up, and have two pages of exercises to stretch and strengthen my ankle and calf from the PT.  It's killing me to miss out this weekend, but I know it's for the best.  (I may still go to the expo and pick up my packet (shirt and race bib!), but we'll see 'bout that) So I'm making the best of it, I guess. Trying to take it easy to make sure I'm ready for work on Monday.

In every sense of the word.